I took this picture in hopes that it would be a "before" and there would be a very clean room for an "after." That didn't happen. My room WAS clean for about a day, but not clean enough to warrant an "after" picture, and now that I've started the packing process, it's a disaster zone again.
People who have ever visited my childhood rooms will say that this is usually how my room looks, (in fact, I'm pretty sure my room at Mom's still looks like this) but since I've gotten to college and started spending a substantial amount of time in one room, I've learned to keep it clean. Therefore, believe it or not, this disgusts me. A messy room means chaos in life, and I hate that. This time around though, I left it messy for different reasons.
Mostly, because I'm still in denial about the fact that I will be leaving this place for good in less than a week. I knew that cleaning meant that I would have to start packing, so I just let the mess continue to pile. The only real reason I cleaned it to begin with was because I couldn't find my car keys. As a nursing student, I know that denial is not an effective coping mechanism, and for a while, I didn't really seem to care.
But, as I was laying (lying? still don't know that one) in bed last weekend, I realized that the best thing to do was to face the facts and get on with life. I could make the most out of my final days here while simulatneously preparing for my departure, since it was going to happen regardless of if I was ready.
So I cleaned my room. And I purged my closet. And I took four full bags of stuff to the Salvation Army truck on campus. And I started packing. And I went to Duffy's for the Senior Brat Fry and took a thousand pictures and celebrated with my friends.
Effective coping? Guess I really am an adult.
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