Moving on and growing up...

college is over. still interested in what's going on in my life? head on over to

...the chance to find yourself...

Thanks!

-Vickie

And so it begins...

I took this picture in hopes that it would be a "before" and there would be a very clean room for an "after." That didn't happen. My room WAS clean for about a day, but not clean enough to warrant an "after" picture, and now that I've started the packing process, it's a disaster zone again.

People who have ever visited my childhood rooms will say that this is usually how my room looks, (in fact, I'm pretty sure my room at Mom's still looks like this) but since I've gotten to college and started spending a substantial amount of time in one room, I've learned to keep it clean. Therefore, believe it or not, this disgusts me. A messy room means chaos in life, and I hate that. This time around though, I left it messy for different reasons.

Mostly, because I'm still in denial about the fact that I will be leaving this place for good in less than a week. I knew that cleaning meant that I would have to start packing, so I just let the mess continue to pile. The only real reason I cleaned it to begin with was because I couldn't find my car keys. As a nursing student, I know that denial is not an effective coping mechanism, and for a while, I didn't really seem to care.

But, as I was laying (lying? still don't know that one) in bed last weekend, I realized that the best thing to do was to face the facts and get on with life. I could make the most out of my final days here while simulatneously preparing for my departure, since it was going to happen regardless of if I was ready.

So I cleaned my room. And I purged my closet. And I took four full bags of stuff to the Salvation Army truck on campus. And I started packing. And I went to Duffy's for the Senior Brat Fry and took a thousand pictures and celebrated with my friends.

Effective coping? Guess I really am an adult.

RE: tour tomorrow

Slowly but surely, I’m deleting lines from my email signature… and handing over responsibilities. Amy led our last SNA meeting of the year, and I’m sure she’ll do a great job next year. Tomorrow we celebrate as officers with breakfast compliments of our advisor, Prof. O. I spent Thursday night training sharing the secrets of being a great tour manager (basically just organization) with Susan, who we’ve been grooming all year to be my replacement. I spent all day Saturday crafting cool awards to give my top tour guides today at our AIA end of the year party. I just finished a “how-to” guide for next year’s Admitted Student Day coordinator, and will join my fellow VOV committee members for dinner at El Salto tomorrow night.

Right now, I’m sitting in the admission office all by myself (yes, on a Sunday night), trying not to get nostalgic. This has been my second home for the last two years, and many of my best friendships were formed within these walls. I can only hope that soon I will again get to work with great people who love their jobs this much.

Two weeks from today I’ll be a college graduate. “I’m Vickie Chambers, tour manager and a senior nursing major from the great state of Oregon” will turn into “I’m Vickie Chambers, and I’ll be your nurse today.”

Ready or not?

History Repeats Itself

Four years ago, when I found out that I didn’t make May Court, I was really disappointed. It was something I had been looking forward to since I was a wee little girl dancing in the background of the tiki hut at my first May Day celebration. Even though that wasn’t really my “scene” in high school, a very large part of me wanted to experience being on the court- so much so that I had the princess bow perfected by age 10. And then I found out that I didn’t get it, and I was devastated. What made it worse was that a few of the girls were new to West Linn, and didn’t understand the importance of the tradition of it all.

Last week, I found myself in a similar situation. I’d been nominated, along with a lot of my friends, for this Outstanding Leadership and Service Award here at VU and after submitting a pretty impressive resume (or so I thought) and writing a good essay, I really thought I had a legitimate chance of getting it. I figured this was the one award for which I had achieved the goal. I will be the first to admit that I’m not the best student, so my grades aren’t nearly good enough to get me into any honors societies or win any academic awards- but leadership and service? Shit, I’m really good at those things. For the last few years, people have been telling me that I’m crazy for being as involved on campus as I have been, and I saw winning this award as a way of saying “see all of you doubters- it was all worth it.” So when I found out I didn’t get it, I was devastated. What made it worse was that a few of the people who did get it, didn’t seem nearly as involved as I am, and that didn’t seem fair. To make matters worse, these people were my friends who nonchalantly asked me if “I’d won that award thing too” and didn’t want it as much as I did.

The adult response to that question is, “No, I didn’t but I’m really proud of you for getting it. Good job!” I’m twenty-two. I’m supposed to be an adult. Instead, I acted like I was still 18 and pissed that I hadn’t made May Court. I faked a smile and vented to others about how much more I deserved the award and how ridiculous it was that these people would get it and I didn’t. I made bitter side comments and snide remarks. I bitched and moaned and made sure everyone knew that I was the one who deserved to win.

And THAT is what I am most ashamed of. I’m twenty-two. I’m supposed to be an adult. I’d like to believe that I’ve grown up in the last four years- that somehow I’ve become not only wiser, but a better person than the one who first stepped foot on this campus. I didn’t decide to get so involved just so that I could get some stupid award- and I’ve gotten a lot out of each one of my experiences these last few years. And I’ve met a lot of really great people who have taught me some invaluable lessons along the way. Instead of standing by to support them as they get recognized for their contribution to this campus, I acted like a selfish brat.

So Brett, Justin, Courtney and everyone else- Congratulations- you truly deserve this award. Thank you for the sacrifices you’ve made over the last four years to this campus and for all of the time and effort you’ve put into making Valpo a better school. Thank you for the lessons each one of you has taught me... and for those you continue to teach. We have four weeks left… let’s celebrate!

toes in the water, ass in the sand...

Not a worry in the world, cold beer in my hand, life is good today…

If ever there was a song that fit a trip perfectly, it would be the Zac Brown Band’s “Toes” and Spring Break 2010. There were countless times when I was literally doing exactly what the song describes. And I would give anything to go back right now.

The more stressful life gets (ie finals week and lots of work projects) the more I find myself reminiscing and dreaming of the island. Which, aside from being counterproductive, just makes me miss it more. I was surprised at how much like “home” it felt- I’m not kidding when I say that if I could figure out a warm shower, I’d live there forever. Apparently there are PeaceCorps people who get placed there, which seems like a dream, not reality. I would join the Corps in a heartbeat if I was guaranteed that placement (although I assume Spanish language fluency would come in handy.)

I came home really excited about being a nurse- looking forward to the “job hunt”… until I realized just how hard it’s going to be to land that first job. Especially before I pass boards and with three weddings in Oregon in July/August. Now I’m discouraged and looking at ways to put off joining the real world (which have included auditioning for “The Real World”) People seem eager to talk to me about a few different opportunities, so I’m forced to deal with the fact that graduation is less than 8 weeks away.

Which I suppose means I should stop day dreaming…

I will admit..

.. that I am a total sucker for reality shows, and almost anything MTV has to offer in that category (aside from Jersey Shore, which I absolutely refuse to watch.) I watched The Real World before it was cool, and long before it was the complete joke it is today. (and probably before any normal parent allows his/her child to.) After enjoying 16 and Pregnant, I was excited to see that the cameras would be following four storylines further, and Teen Mom was born. Or perhaps birthed is a better term.

Farrah I can't stand, because she was obnoxious before she had a kid, and now that Sophia is around, she still refuses to give up her "teenage" status. Amber and Gary provide a good example of how having a baby changes a relationship, and I was glad to see that Amber finally stopped acting like a victim. Catelynn chose adoption which by far is the hardest choice of all, and I'm glad MTV chose to show how even that can make a big difference in your life.

By far, though, my favorite is Maci. First of all, Bentley is the cutest child in the world (would even give little Clara a run for her money) and it seems like Maci is the only one who has realized that "mother" is her primary role now. And she loves her baby to death. She has the most family support, and seems to be the least stressed about raising her baby. The problem for her, is her DB of a baby daddy- Ryan, who is pretty much the scum of the earth. Thankfully she has finally realized that no matter how much she wants him to be a good dad, he won't really be, and has decided to give up trying to make their relationship work.

All of this to say, that I'm getting my hair cut eventually, and I'm thinking it might look like Maci's.

Study Abroad Envy

So I could be studying in Australia:

China:

France:

Or South Africa


But instead, I'm here:


Don't get me wrong, I love Valpo, but it's no Paris. Hands down my biggest regret about college (and perhaps the only one worth anything) is that I didn't take the time to study abroad.